


Destiny, My Old Friend

by writerllofllworlds



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Pain, Tears, just bring tissues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-14 12:32:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13590126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writerllofllworlds/pseuds/writerllofllworlds
Summary: His secret is out.Time's up.





	1. My Old Friend

**Author's Note:**

> All Characters are owned by BBC, I'm just a fan!  
> Tell me what you think in the comments!  
> Have a wonderful day!
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Also, I'm so sorry.

“Come out and play, Merlin.”  
Morgana knew.  
Merlin’s stomach dropped to his feet and his eyes shot wide.  
“Come out and protect your little kingdom.”  
 _Oh, God_.

  
Morgana knew.

  
He shook from his head to his toes as Gaius rushed to his side from across the throne room. Morgana’s disembodied voice echoed throughout the castle, sending chills down everyone’s spines. Whoever had taught her the cast voice spell really deserved a sword through the hand. She was scarily good at it. Everyone seated in the large chamber turned to look at him, and the one man that Merlin cared for most he couldn’t bring himself to look at. Morgana’s men had been stationed all around Camelot for days now, trying to starve them out. But Morgana had waited long enough.  
How she knew he had no idea. Who she had tortured it out of or bribed, he didn’t know. Perhaps now he never would.

  
“Merlin?” it was Gwaine’s voice that broke the horrible silence, but Merlin couldn’t look at him either. In fact, he couldn’t meet anyone’s curious stare. The ground, the columns, the ceiling, the storm outside the windows and the fires burning beyond that. Anything but his friends, his family, the people he had sacrificed so much for.  
They deserved that much from him, after everything he had done, but he never had been very good at following the rules.

  
“Merlin.” Arthur this time, and his voice was firm. A chair scraped across the floor and footsteps followed. “Merlin, what was she talking about?”  
The warlock didn’t answer. The tears jumping into his eyes were making it hard to formulate any kind of response and even if he did it wouldn’t pass the lump of emotions clogging his throat. His eyes burned as he stared at the doors, his only escape without fully flashing a giant banner for all to see. He could run, possibly, but what was the point? Morgana would tell them all anyway.  
“Merlin.” It was a forceful tone now, like Arthur got when he was really worried, which Merlin would have teased him for had the situation not been so dire. “Tell me. Now.”  
“Sire-,” Gaius started.  
“I want him to answer.” The King cut the man off quickly. “That’s an order, Merlin.”  
Merlin’s smile was bitter as he croaked, “You know as well as I that I have never been one to follow your orders.”

  
But even he could hear the brokenness of his voice, how shattered he sounded and probably looked. The tears were clouding his vision and he had a small second of thinking to magic them away since there was no use hiding anymore. Something inside him however kept him from saying anything. Perhaps it was still the ingrained instinct to hide, hide, hide! Perhaps still it was the fear of the consequences. Either way, he pushed the thought away as quickly as it had come and continued to stare off at anything other than his king.  
“Merlin.” Gaius clenched his arm tighter.  
The warlock swallowed. “I can’t.”  
Arthur reached forward and grabbed his wrist. “What? What’s wrong? Is she threatening you? Me? Merlin, what’s going on?”  
“I can’t,” he muttered, and he pulled out of both men’s holds. He shook his head, closing his eyes tightly. The tears slipped down his face before he could catch them and he backed away further, further, closer to the door and his escape. “You’ll hate me.”

  
Arthur scoffed, but there was a caution to it as if his worry was getting the better of him. “I could never hate you.”

  
“Yes, you could.” Merlin laughed the way a crazed man did when he knew the end was near. “Oh, Arthur, you can hate me more than you will ever know.”  
“Tell me and I will decide!” the king snapped, and finally his servant looked at him. Arthur stared, and Merlin was shocked to find tears swimming in those precious blue irises too. “Do you not trust me?”  
His magic was bubbling just below the surface as if it knew that it couldn’t be restrained much longer. His breathin was increasing by the minute and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. “Of course I trust you.” Merlin glanced around the room, at his friends. At Mordred. Then back to Arthur. Always back to Arthur. “But… you’ll kill me.”  
He blinked twice before Merlin’s words really hit him. “K…kill you? How on earth can you think that? Merlin, just tell me and I will put your worries to rest! Just tell me what-,”

  
“I HAVE MAGIC!” Merlin blurted it out faster than he could think, faster than he could say no. immediately, his hands clamped over his mouth and he retreated further, father from home, from belonging, from those he loved most. He had lost them now.

  
As he looked into his king’s eyes, Merlin knew he had lost him too.

  
“What?” Arthur’s golden brows furrowed in confusion. “Mer… Merlin, what on earth? Why would you say something like that?”  
“It’s true.” He whimpered in reply, still backing towards the door, towards his escape. If he ran now, he might be able to make it out of the city and defeat Morgana before the knights caught up with him. “But I’m not evil, Arthur, I promise. I’ve only ever done it to protect you and this kingdom. I’ve never tried to hurt you or- or-,”  
“Magic killed my father.” the queen spoke up, and Merlin jerked, his eyes moving to hers. There was anger there, but even Gwen could still find warmth in her heart when she was angry. Merlin held onto that hope.  
“I did not harm your father, Gwen. The people who did that- I had no idea who they were, I promise-,”  
“And how do we know that?” Leon questioned, and his fellow knights glared at him as if he were insane. “Don’t act like that. Magic can be used in all sorts of hideous ways. Merlin could be-,”  
“Merlin is Merlin!” Gwaine said slowly, as if Leon was a child. “He wouldn’t hurt a-,”  
“You were the sorcerer who killed Uther.” Arthur interrupted, and all grew quiet again. His voice was soft and Merlin could hear the anger bristling at the edges. The concern had disappeared into fury, and his eyes were no longer a calm sea but almost matched the raging storm outside the rattling windows.  
“No…” Merlin swallowed, unable to stop the tears. “Your father was already dying, Arthur, there was nothing I could do t-!”  
Arthur’s sword was out of its sheath before Merlin could blink. “You let him die.”  
“No!” it was Gaius this time, trying to grab his king’s wrist to halt the shining weapon that had saved so many lives from stealing the one that really deserved the praise. “My Lord, please-,”  
“You’re a traitor to this kingdom.” Arthur cut him off, pulling forcefully away from the elder.  
“Arthur, please, let me explain. I am magic. I’ve had it for-,” the fist slammed into his chin faster than he could recognize the danger. Merlin tumbled to the floor, the gasp a late reaction as shock filled him. Arthur had never hit him before, not to intentionally hurt him.

  
“Get out.” Arthur seethed. “Get out and never come back. If I see your face again I will run you through without a second thought.”  
“Arthur, please, let him explain!” Gaius shouted, but froze when Arthur lifted his sword.  
“Do you wish for the same fate, physician?”  
“Arthur hold on!” Gwaine stood too, slowly inching towards them. “Merlin has been nothing but loyal for the past 9 years! Why would he-,”  
“He’s been biding his time.” The monarch yelled, and the sword was under Merlin’s chin in a heartbeat. “My father, Morgana… give me one good reason why I should not strike you down you where you stand.”

  
Merlin swallowed, the tears in his eyes making his throat scream. “Arthur-,”

  
“Do not address me like you are my equal, bastard. I am a-!”

  
“You’re the only friend I’ve got.” The sorcerer croaked. “Arthur, you’re the only friend I have, and I couldn’t bear to lose you.”

  
The king froze then. His eyes widened, and he stared at Merlin with a mixture of fear and realization. The anger was still there, make no mistake, but there was doubt too. And that, that was enough for Merlin. The warlock failed to muster up a smile, but forced out, “I’m happy to be your servant until the day I die, Sire.” The upturn of his lips was bitter at the title. “And if that day is today, then I will die happy, knowing that I did all that I could with the power I had.”  
The sword fell. “Get out.”  
“Arthur-,” Gaius tried again, but Merlin knew not to test his luck.  
Merlin stood. “It’s alright, Gaius.” He whispered, and the man’s eyes locked with his. His adopted father stared back, tears glistening as they ran down his face. “We both knew I wasn’t born to live happily ever after. It was only a matter of time…”  
Arthur glanced up, brows furrowing, but not in anger. “What-,”

  
“Thank you, Your Majesty.” Merlin bowed his head in respect, and he had never been so sincere and genuine in his entire life. “I wouldn’t change a thing.”  
And he looked back up, but Arthur had turned his face away.  
The warlock nodded with a sad smile.  
“Arthur, this is nonsense!” Gwaine ran forward to grab Arthur’s shoulder. “Merlin is your best friend! How can you-,”  
“ENOUGH GWAINE!”  
Arthur spun to face him.

  
The sword cut straight across Merlin’s stomach with a sickening sllcch.

  
The entire room gasped, and the servant gaped at the immediate blood that seeped into the red fabric of his shirt. He blinked twice, shocked, before his shoulders fell in defeat. “Until the day I die…”

  
Arthur was horrified. His eyes bigger than dinner plates, he surged towards the warlock, intent on doing something, he wasn’t sure, since he was supposed to be angry, but this was _Merlin_ and Merlin wasn’t evil and he _loved Merlin and how could he have let this happen where did it all go wrong_ -

  
Gwaine punched him in the face, sending him stumbling into a column. When he looked up, to his increasing terror and dread, Merlin was gone.  
“MERLIN!” Gwaine shouted, beginning to run after him, but Percival caught his arm. The shorter knight tried to pull himself free, but there was no possible way that Gwaine could escape. He yelled in outrage, the tears in his eyes burning into Arthur’s soul as he turned to look at the king.  
“He was good.” He spat, teeth bared, and then glared daggers at Leon. “He was good. He loved us and you – all of you – and this is how you repay him?”  
“Did you know?” Gwen asked, raising her chin.  
“Did I know?” The knight smiled back, but it was bitter, and he jerked out of Percival’s grip. “About the magic? No. But if you think about it, Majesty, how can we be surprised? He was kinder than any of us, smarter, braver.”

  
“He had magic.” Leon stated firmly, hand on his sword. “With that much power-,”  
“He stayed!” Gwaine shouted. “He stayed for us. He stayed knowing this would happen. Knowing you-,” he pointed at Arthur, and the fury crumbled to pain. “Knowing that you would reject him. He… he loved you, Arthur. You were his world. Sometimes you were the only reason he wanted to keep on living.”

  
The monarch stared back, tears springing to life in his own eyes.  
“And now he’s lost that too.” Percival breathed.  
Arthur sucked in a breath.  
 _What had he done_?

* * *

 

The battle raged around him, but Merlin cared not. Men ran at him, he threw them into the air without opening his mouth. Balls of fire rained down on the city and he turned them to snow without a single spell. Knights of Camelot ran when they saw him, and Merlin finally realized what it was to be Morgana. For a brief moment, when he let himself focus on one of the youngest knights, Brian, and his eyes wide with terror, he understood. That was what fueled her. The pain, the fear that she could cause.  
They were both monsters now, thrust into the light of the sun where neither belonged.  
Only one thing mattered now: Morgana. Her tyranny on this kingdom had to end. With the last of his strength, Merlin would accomplish this. If it broke him, if it bruised him. If it caused him to become the monster his king now thought him to be, fine. If he died, well, he had avoided punishment for along enough. It was time he finally received his dues.

  
Arthur knew the truth now. Undoubtedly, he was permanently banished. Unsurprisingly, it would end up being worse. But Merlin would be damned if he let the prat kill him without saving his life first.  
After all, some things never change.

  
Merlin could hear her laughter from where he was in the courtyard of the citadel, which meant she was far too close to comfort. He ran down to the lower town and smoke enveloped him as he crossed the gate. Flames danced everywhere the eye could see. Murmuring a quick rain spell, he continued to make his way towards the insane laughter.  
The pain around his abdomen was background music at this point. His adrenaline had kicked in, but he knew he was dying. He couldn’t worry about himself now. He never had before.  
Merlin skid to a stop, clutching an overturned cart to stay upright, but the scene before him was enough to send him stumbling again. Red capes and armored forms were strewn across the burning dirt. The idiots had used the tunnel out of the dungeons to beat him there. How could his friends be so incredibly stupid?!  
But they were all still alive as far as he could tell, especially since Arthur was struggling to his knees like an idiot. Morgana, the beauty that still graced her dimmed by the ugliness in her heart, stood over the king like he was a mouse ready to be pounced on. She poised, ready to strike, and Merlin’s eyes glowed gold.  
He went into overdrive. All that he could see was Arthur in danger and he had to save him.  
A wall erupted in front of the knights, and all heads whipped around.

  
Morgana froze. The knights froze. Arthur froze.  
The sorceress gasped, taking a deep breath. “Merlin…” Her tone was shockingly gentle and shattered. “Merlin, what are you doing?!”  
“My duty.” Merlin croaked back. “I have to protect the king!”  
“Merlin,” the woman stared, and in that moment he could still see the girl who had hated the injustice of her father. Who had stood in that jail cell, chained to a wall, and told the king exactly what he was. He saw her defiance, tarnished by hate and loss, but that defiance was somehow comforting in this moment of chaos. “Merlin, he wants you dead.”

The man swallowed, blinking as a tear streamed down his cheeks. “I know.”  
“He tried to kill you!” she stammered, but the anger in her voice was not necessarily directed at him anymore, but perhaps at the entire situation. “Don’t you understand? He was willing to cast you out after everything you’d done! After saving his life, his kingdom, and everyone he loves over and over again! He-,”  
“I KNOW!” Merlin cried. He fell back slightly as if the burst of confidence was the only strength he had left. He felt the healing magic wearing off and his energy ebbed with each breath he took. He needed to make this quick. “I know. But that doesn’t change what I have to do. You’re threatening my King and his kingdom, and I am not going to let you hurt him or anyone else ever again. It ends here, Morgana. And when I die, I will die knowing that I did it right. That I…”  
Merlin stood straight, and when his eyes opened they were golden. “I am Emrys.”

  
Morgana looked back at him with a strange sort of pride as if to say, ‘ _there you are’._ “We meet at last.”  
She bowed low, and Merlin somehow knew it wasn’t a mock gesture, but when she spoke there was no kindness. “I am honored,” she said as she rose. “To have been gifted such an adversary in this life. I am blessed, Emrys, to have met you. Your story will live long in the minds of men. But this is where you meet your death.”  
Merlin swallowed, his magic filling him like a tea kettle about to whistle. “I blame myself for what you’ve become, Morgana. But you’re right. This has to end.”  
“You think you can defeat me?” she laughed, a hollow and maniacal sound. “Me? A high priestess of the old religion?”  
“I am Emrys.” He repeated. “I am the Last Dragonlord, son of Balinor. I have been blessed by the druids and the Great Dragon. My destiny is to bring peace to this land and restore Albion. It was fate that brought me to Arthur, and my story is not done until I accomplish that deed. You are nothing compared to me, Morgana. You may have been shaped by the Old Religion, but I was _born_ of it.”

The ground erupted around her and she flew into the air with a shriek. Before she even touched back down, fire engulfed her in a burning column of light. Merlin dared not look around him lest he see Arthur and his trusted friends. He couldn’t look now.  
She screamed as she burst from the flames. Her dress was scorched but she alive, and Merlin frowned. “I’m impressed.”  
“And you’re dead!” she lunged forward, and wind shot out of her fingertips, knocking the warlock backward. He flew, slamming into a brick wall. He let out a scream, but he wasn’t the only one. Pain coursed through his body, but he struggled upward, fueling more magic into his shield surrounding the knights before lightning pulsed around his hands. His breathing was heavy, but still, the power coursed within him. He let out a cry of anger and let the burning light burst from his skin. Morgana screeched, electricity arching through her form.

Merlin seized the opportunity. He glanced around and thank the gods, there was Excalibur. He lunged for the sword, hands wrapping around the hilt just as Morgana sent a wave of fire where he had been moments before. He shouted again and the earth beneath her feet shook. She fell, head hitting the same wall he had been thrown into.  
He struggled to his feet. Blood was sticky and wet on his back, probably matching the color that drained down Morgana’s face. Shouts filled the air, making a horrible chorus with the screams and the crackle of the fires. The warlock was shaking, though from pain or anger he didn’t know.  
“Look inside yourself, Morgana!” he yelled. “Look around you! Is this really what you want?”  
“CAMELOT IS MINE!”  
“This isn’t right! Morgana, look around you! There’s always a second chance. Please!”  
She cackled. “Are you preaching to me, Emrys? The man who has murdered hundreds?”  
“I know what I am, Morgana. You and I… we aren’t that different. But I chose a harder path.”  
“Harder?!” she laughed, but there were tears in her eyes. “Harder?! I have gone through more than you can ever imagine!”  
Merlin let out a breathy chuckle, his vision blurry. His arms fell to his sides. “Really? More than I could ever imagine?”  
“I have lost everything!” she screamed, flames dancing around her arms.  
“As have I.” he whispered. “I lost my father. I lost the love of my life. I lost Elyan and Lance. Finna died because of me. Isolde, Alator, Daegal! I have lost SO MUCH-,” his breath caught. “You’re right. I have killed people. I have murdered in cold blood. I have taken husbands from their wives, mothers from their children. I have lost my home, my friends, my family. I have lost everything that I have ever loved.”

  
He took a deep breath, emotion building in his throat. “But I chose better. I chose to be better.”  
“And now because of your better choice, you will die.”  
“I am stronger than you.” He lifted Excalibur. “I am stronger than you will ever be.”  
And Morgana charged.  
Merlin had fought monsters with wings and claws. He had fought dragons and wyverns and griffins and wilderons. All those creatures had caused shivers down his spine. As Morgana ran towards him, fire roaring from her hands, he felt nothing but sadness. She was just another one of his loved ones lost, and he was the only one to blame.  
“I’m sorry.” He breathed.

Light burst from his fingertips, blinding the witch. She screamed louder, and the flames licked his heels and burned his nostrils. He brought the blade upwards, the same blade that had pierced him only an hour before and thrust it through her abdomen. He cradled her head as she gasped, her hands falling and flames disappearing with the smoke. Tears streamed down his face in torrents, and he buried his nose into the crook of her neck. He breathed a million apologies as she fell limp in his arms. He glanced upwards, and the anger had melted out of her beautiful eyes. She stared back at him.  
“Merlin…”  
“I’m sorry… so sorry…”  
Her hand brushed his cheek before falling to the side. “Thank you.”  
Her head rolled to the side and she stared out into the crimson horizon, forever looking at the rising sun. Her lips were tilted up in a smile. Morgana had found peace at last.

Merlin’s tears streamed down his face as he fell to the ground beside her. His breaths were labored. Pain coursed through his entire body. The tendrils of light arched beautifully in the rising sun and he couldn’t help but marvel. He had seen so many sunrises. He had seen just as many sunsets. He had lived longer than he ever thought possible. He had been able to love, to be loved. He had saved so many lives. He wasn’t worthless.  
He was Merlin. He was a clumsy, foolish, brave and kind serving boy who tried to be a hero.  
Arthur’s voice cut through his ringing head. “MERLIN!” but Merlin’s breath was already slowing.  
As the flames danced around him a smile spread across his bleeding lips.

  
_Destiny, my old friend_ , he thought with a smile. _It has been quite a journey_.


	2. Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somewhere in the distance, the sun was rising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So people requested a second chapter from Arthur's POV?  
> Um, here?  
> I'm sorry?  
> (Comment if you liked it!)  
> I don't own BBC Merlin. Wish I did. But I don't.

Merlin often told him that he could be such an idiot.

He wished that he had listened then. He wished he had always listened.

Arthur knew he had gone to fight Morgana. Whatever anger he felt at Merlin’s secret being exposed, the betrayal that coursed through him again, or the overwhelming guilt (because of _course_ Merlin was the answer. Of _course_ Merlin was the savior and the goodness and the _light_ ) was pushed viciously to the side at the thought of Merlin, his Merlin, risking everything for Arthur.

Like he always had.

Like Arthur had never known.

 _He… he loved you, Arthur. You were his world. Sometimes you were the only reason he wanted to keep on living_.

Arthur blinked tears out of his eyes as he turned another corner down the dark passage. His knights’ footsteps were drowned out by the guilt in his mind.

 _And now he’s lost that too_.

He couldn’t’ do this right now. Not now. Not when Morgana was terrorizing his castle and killing his people. Later, when he apologized for everything when he got an explanation. He shook his head and glanced over his shoulder. His loyal companions were all there (except the most loyal. The one which he had no _clue_ as to the grand extent of his loyalty), and even though the angry tear tracks were still on Gwaine’s face, he knew that even the man would be with him until the end. 

None of them smiled like Merlin would have. Merlin had always been good at lifting his spirits.

“For Camelot,” Arthur whispered.

They nodded, and the king forced open the passage gate. They surfaced in the lower town. Fires raged around them, smoke billowing up into the night. The sky was black with night (what had he once said to Merlin?

            “You know, they say the darkest hour is just before the dawn.”

            “It’s pretty dark now.” He had said.

            He could use that same reassurance now.) and full of thunder. As tumultuous as Morgana herself, Arthur turned away from the heavens and steeled himself against what was ahead. His sister’s cackles could be heard as they drifted above fire and thatched roofs. Insane, hysterical, but an underlying tone of understanding. Morgana knew that she had won.

Arthur had driven away his biggest protector – the savior of Camelot. They could not win without Merlin. He knew that. Even before, Arthur had never been able to be brave without Merlin.

The party did not speak as they ran through the streets to the High Priestess.

She was surrounded by bodies and flame when they found her. Lifting her gaze, her eyes met his, her grin only growing as she looked at his companions.

“Why, brother dearest, you seem to be missing someone?”

Arthur did not rise to the bait.

She gasped with glee. “Did you do my job for me? Did you kill him?”

“This is not about-,”

“Oh!” she laughed again, high and clear and _terrifying_. She clapped her hands with delight. “How wonderful! I knew he would die serving you, Arthur, but to be killed by you? Now that – that is delectable.”

“Stop, witch.” Gwaine snarled, the tears returning to his gaze. The stains on his cheeks were orange from the fire. “He is not here. We are.”

“Indeed, little knight.” She smirked in a way that would scare the devil himself. “I am a bit disappointed, you understand. I had so hoped to see the life leave his eyes.”

Arthur wanted to kill her for that. Everything else that made her evil, yes, but she wanted to see Merlin dead. That was unforgivable.

            And yet, not an hour ago, so did he.

            “Enough, Morgana.” The king stepped forward, Excalibur shining in the lights. “Your fight is with me. So fight.”

            With that, the knights charged.

            They never stood a chance.

            With a single word, the red-cloaked warriors were thrown off their feet. Arthur landed on his stomach. The breath flew from his lungs and he gasped for air. Morgana’s slow footfalls were taunting. She knew that they couldn’t fight her. She was behind him, waiting for him to get up. A cat waiting to pounce on her mouse.

            But get up he must.

            _Forgive me, Merlin_.

            He pushed himself to his knees. Excalibur was not at his side. He must have lost it when she threw him into the air. He had no weapon. Yet he would not die on his knees, bowed to a queen he would never serve.

“Do you know what’s funny, Arthur? About all of this?” Morgana hissed. “In the end, _you_ betrayed _him_.”

He gasped again, but not from lack of breath.

“In that knowledge, despair and die.”

He looked up right as she froze. A wall of magic had appeared between her and them. And there, at the opposite end of the street, was Merlin.

He looked awful. But he stood there, with all the power that Arthur now knew he must have, and at that moment he would have believed that the lightning in the sky came from Merlin’s eyes.

“Merlin.” Morgana turned away from her prey, her voice soaked with disbelief. “Merlin, what are you _doing_!?”

“My _duty_.” Merlin croaked back, and didn’t that hurt. “I have to protect the king!”

Merlin wouldn’t look at him. He didn’t blame him, but Arthur stared at him as if he was the only thing that mattered. Perhaps in this moment, he was. Perhaps he had always been.

“Merlin,” the woman stared, her back facing Arthur. It was foolish, in his fighter mind, to turn your back on the enemy, but he knew that this was no longer his fight. It was Merlin’s now. Merlin had always saved them. He had to trust that he would save them now too. “Merlin, he wants you _dead_.”

 _No_ , Arthur wanted to scream. _No, I don’t. I could **never**_.

Merlin blinked, and even from their distance, Arthur could see the tears. “I know.”

“He tried to _kill_ you!” she shouted, her voice slightly mad. “Don’t you understand? He was willing to cast you out after everything you’d done! After saving his life, his _kingdom_ , and everyone he loves over and over again! He-,”

It was sad, Arthur realized in that moment, that his evil sister knew more about Merlin’s sacrifices than he ever had.

“I KNOW!” Merlin cried ( _You can’t believe that Merlin, please tell me you don’t believe that_.) He fell back slightly, his confidence waning. His shoulders fell and he took a step back, hands falling to his sides. His strength was failing. Merlin was dying. “I know. But that doesn’t change what I have to do. You’re threatening my King and his kingdom, and I am not going to let you hurt him or anyone else ever again. It ends here, Morgana. And when I die, I will die knowing that I did it right. That I…”

Merlin stood straight, and when his eyes opened they were golden. “I am Emrys.”

Immediately, Arthur was filled with a warm feeling in his chest. Emrys. The name sent shivers down his spine, but the kind he got before a battle or a tournament – the feeling of victory. Safety.

Home.

That was Merlin. He was Arthur’s home.

He was such a _fool_.

Morgana straightened too, her shoulders rolling. Everyone could feel the tension in the air. “We meet at last.” she bowed, yet when she spoke her tone was not mocking. “I am honored to have been gifted such an adversary in this life. I am blessed, Emrys, to have met you. Your story will live long in the minds of men. But this is where you meet your death.”

Merlin eyed her sadly. “I blame myself for what you’ve become, Morgana. But you’re right. This has to end.”

“You think you can defeat _me_?” she laughed, a hollow and maniacal sound. “Me? A high priestess of the old religion?”

“I am Emrys.” He repeated. “I am the Last Dragonlord, son of Balinor. I have been blessed by the druids and the Great Dragon. My destiny is to bring peace to this land and restore Albion. It was fate that brought me to Arthur, and my story is not done until I accomplish that deed. You are nothing compared to me, Morgana. You may have been shaped by the Old Religion, but I was _born_ of it.”

Camelot was safe. It would always be safe, as long as Merlin defended it. Arthur saw that now.

 _Destinies are troublesome things_.

The book that Merlin had been reading was his life.

The ground erupted around Morgana and she flew into the air with a shriek. Before she even touched back down, fire engulfed her in a burning column of light. Merlin barely opened his mouth. Arthur was in awe of the raw power the radiated from the warlock. He hardly had to lift a finger, and yet this High Priestess was cast into the sky like a stone.

She walked out of the flame scorched yet alive. Merlin huffed. “I’m impressed.”

Merlin had never been able to keep his mouth shut.

“And you’re dead!” she lunged forward, and wind shot out of her fingertips, knocking the warlock backward. He flew, slamming into a brick wall. He let out a scream, one almost identical to the one that erupted from Arthur’s throat.

“MERLIN!”

He tried to run towards the fight, but the wall that Merlin had constructed wouldn’t let him through. He was protecting them _again_.

Merlin shot lightning out of his fingers at his foe. Morgana screeched, electricity arching through her form. It was a frightening sound, her screaming, but at least it was not her laughter. Merlin seized the opportunity. He lunged for the fallen Excalibur, hands wrapping around the hilt just as Morgana sent a wave of fire where he had been moments before. Arthur watched with held breath as he shouted again and the earth beneath her feet shook. She fell, head hitting the same wall he had been thrown into.

“Merlin!” he tried again, but the warlock did not hear him. “Merlin! Let me help you!”

 _I can’t watch you die_.

“Look inside yourself, Morgana!” Merlin yelled, his voice scratchy with pain and exhaustion. “Look around you! Is this really what you want?”

“CAMELOT IS MINE!” it was deranged, and at last Arthur saw that there was nothing left of his sister – of the woman she used to be. That Morgana was gone.

“This isn’t right! Morgana, look around you!” it was a desperate action and Merlin knew it. But that was Merlin. He always had hope even when no one else did. “There’s always a second chance. Please!”

She cackled. “Are you preaching to me, Emrys? The man who has murdered hundreds?”

Arthur growled. She had no right-!

“I know what I am, Morgana.” Resigned, stoic. Accepting. “You and I… we aren’t that different. But I chose a harder path.”

“Harder?!” she laughed again, but the chills down Arthur’s spine were next to nothing with Merlin there. He could always be brave with Merlin. “ _Harder_?! I have gone through more than you can _ever_ imagine!”

Merlin let out a breathy chuckle. His arms fell to his sides. “Really? More than I could ever imagine?”

“I have lost everything!” she screamed, flames dancing around her hands.

“As have I.” he whispered. “I lost my father. I lost the love of my life. I lost Elyan and Lance. Finna died because of me. Isolde, Alator, Daegal! I have lost SO MUCH-,” his breath caught. “You’re right. I have killed people. I have murdered in cold blood. I have taken husbands from their wives, mothers from their children. I have lost my home, my friends, my family. I have lost _everything_ that I have ever loved.”

He took a deep breath, and his hands turned into fists. Arthur could feel the moment coming. The end. “But I chose better. I chose to _be_ better.”

“And now because of your _better choice_ , you will die.”

“I am stronger than you.” He lifted Excalibur. “I am stronger than you will ever be.”

And Morgana charged.

Light burst from his fingertips, blinding the witch. She screamed louder. Merlin brought the blade upwards, the same blade that had pierced him only an hour before and thrust it through her abdomen. Her body fell limp. Tears streamed down Merlin’s face in torrents, and he buried his nose into the crook of her neck. He lowered her to the ground slowly.

In between the fires and shouts, Arthur heard him apologize.

“I’m sorry,” he sobbed. “So sorry…”

She reached up to touch his face. “Thank you.”

Her hand fell to the ground. Her head lolled towards the rising sun. there was no giant proclamation, but the witch was dead.

His relief was quickly replaced by terror as Merlin collapsed beside her.

The shield gave way and Arthur scrambled to his feet, running to his friend. He wasn’t fast enough. He was never fast enough.

“MERLIN!”

He was too far away. He was always too damn far away.

Merlin’s eyes were closed when Arthur fell to his knees beside his broken friend. “Merlin, no. No, don’t do this to me. _Please_.”

His father would have vomited. A king was on his knees, begging to a warlock.

Arthur would have begged to anyone, his face against the floor if it meant that Merlin opened his eyes. He couldn’t lose Merlin. Anything else, everything else, but not Merlin. Not after this, after everything that he knew. All the apologies and thank you’s that he was owed. All the titles and celebrations, the lands and crowns that Merlin deserved.

Arthur’s own secrets that he should have said.

_Don’t leave me, Merlin. I can’t lose you too._

_I love you_.

“Merlin.” He shook his shoulders. “Merlin! Wake up!”

Blue eyes opened, and the king laughed as tears rolled down his cheeks.

“Merlin.” He breathed, stroking his bruised cheek. “Oh, _Merlin_ , thank God.”

His best friend reached up like Morgana had. His fingers, cold and shaking, touched Arthur’s chin softly. The king grasped his hand tightly, kissing his knuckles. “Stay awake, Merlin. We’ll get you to Gaius. He’ll patch you up.”

“I’m sorry.”

The words stung and Arthur shook his head. “No, Merlin. You don’t have anything to be sorry for. I should have – look, we’ll figure it out, alright? We’ll do it together, just like we do everything else, yeah? You and me.”

Merlin swallowed with difficulty, looking at their intertwined hands. “I should have told you.”

“Merlin, this isn’t your fault.” The king whispered hoarsely. “It’s never been your fault.”

Those blue eyes looked up at him like that was the first time he had ever heard that.

“It’s not your fault, Merlin.” Arthur breathed softly, stroking his black hair. “I’m sorry. Forgive me, Merlin. Please, please, forgive me. Don’t close your eyes, Merlin.”

Merlin smiles in the way that always made Arthur’s heart stutter. “I _forgive_ you.”

The king sobbed, kissing his friend’s fingers again and rocking back and forth. “You’re too good, Merlin. We’ll fix you up. Don’t worry, Gaius will fix you right up. Don’t close your eyes, Merlin. Keep looking at me.”

His eyelids fluttered.

“Merlin.”

“Arthur, stop.” Merlin swallowed. “Arthur, I used it for you. Only for you.”

The monarch shook his head, hands gripping those raven locks a little tighter. “Merlin, I know. I know Merlin. It’s alright. We have to get you to Gaius. You’ll see-,”

“Just-,” the warlock coughed, a small trail of blood trailing down his chin. Arthur was quick to wipe it away. “Just _hold_ me.”

He had never been good at refusing Merlin.

“Some men are born to – to plow fields,” Merlin whispered. “Some live to be great physicians, others to be great kings. Me? I was born to serve you, Arthur, and I’m proud of that, and I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“I couldn’t have done any of it without you.” _What will I do without you_?

“Maybe.” He chuckled. “Maybe.”

“Stay awake, Merlin.” Arthur jostled him again. “Someone’s run to get Gaius, Merlin. You’ll be fine, just stay awake.”

“You know me, Arthur.” He said even as his eyelids fluttered again. “I’ve never been very good at following orders.”

“Merlin!” his voice rose with his panic. “Hey, stay with me.” _Don’t leave me_.

“I want to say something I’ve never said to you before.” He croaked.

Arthur’s tears were blurring his vision. “You are _not_ saying goodbye.”

The warlock shook his head. “No.”

He waited with held breath.

“Thank you.”

 _I love you_.

Arthur sobbed again. Finally, he pulled Merlin into his arms. He cradled his head in the crook of his shoulder and rocked back and forth, whispering into his hair. “Stay, Merlin, please.”

“I would have followed you.” Merlin breathed. “My brother.”

 _My friend_.

“My captain.”

 _My light_.

“My king.”

Somewhere, in the distance, the sun was rising. Somewhere in the distance, a mother was finally putting her children to sleep. Somewhere in the distance, Gaius was descending the castle steps too slowly, always too slow.

But here, as the King of Camelot sobbed against his warlock’s chest, the sun would never shine again, because the light of his life had gone out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Somewhere in the distance, centuries from then, Destiny would whisper, _Up you get, Arthur. There's a new sunrise_. 

And there, on a sandy shore, Arthur would find his light again. 

           


End file.
